A Different Sort of Wedding

This summer has been packed full of all things wedding. Entering into engagement, I had absolutely no idea all that went into a wedding, but most of all I was not expecting the amount of pressure that is put on a bride when planning a wedding. Everything must be perfect: the dress, the centerpieces, the vows, the invitations, and much much more. In the midst of planning I have realized one thing: weddings have no longer become about the celebration of a union between a man and a woman but rather about who can plan the best party.

Is this what it has come down to? Weddings that are full of pretty things but absent of all joy and meaning? But the worst part is, I find myself being sucked into this sick little delusional world where by some magical power, a perfect wedding will mean a perfect life.

Here is my story:

One innocent summer day, tired from hours of wedding crafting, I found myself looking on pinterest (don't judge me, you do it too) for some wedding inspiration. I was looking through all the cute pictures of cakes, flower girls, and delicious foods when I came across a picture of a gorgeous bride. She had the right amount of bridal elegance, a beautiful gown that hugged her in all the right places, hair that rivaled a Greek goddess, and skin that glowed. As I stared at her, my thoughts began to wander... "my hair will never look that good, my skin is flawed... maybe if I got the right makeup I could cover up all my imperfections, if I lost a few pounds my dress may fit me like that..." and so on and so forth. I continued in this twisted act of comparison for a few hours until I found my self with self esteem as low as the Marianas Trench. It seemed to engulf me as I realized I will never look as perfect as this bride. In reality, we all know that this perfection was achieved through the right amount of photo shop and an airbrush, but in that moment all I wanted was to look as beautiful as this bride.

The pressure to look perfect on your wedding day is no new thing. Women for decades have gone through pains to achieve the perfect bridal look. One magazine that I was reading said that in order to achieve that perfect bridal glow, one must get a facial every week for the month leading up to their wedding. A facial every week?! That is ridiculous. Who even has the money to do that?! Certainly not me! But the wedding world is no stranger to this sort of beauty regiment. Magazines are devoted to bridal beauty with articles on teeth whitening, hair conditioning, tanning tips, and even how to best smile in your wedding photos. It's no wonder girls feel so much pressure to look perfect on their wedding day!

After talking through my frustrations with my fiancé and friends, I have come to the conclusion that I am going to have a Different Sort of Wedding. My wedding day will no longer be focused on how wonderful of a party that I can plan, but rather on the love that is shared between Ben and I, and the commitment that he and I will make before God. Perfection will no longer be a part of my vocabulary. I will no longer try to achieve bridal perfection. I have my dream dress and I am so excited to wear it, I will try a bit harder on my hair than on any other day, and my makeup may be a bit more dramatic than usual but my outlook has changed, this day is about love not perfection.

I want to challenge all of you brides-to-be to have a different sort of wedding as well. To ditch the old ways of perfection and focus on the love that is shared and the commitment that is made.